The Matriarch & Mom

Being the matriarch in my family has definitely had its ups and downs. From handling the family finances, completing a Master’s Degree and working full time up until the day that I went into labor with my son, to making sure that my husband and I maintain a healthy partnership, love on each other and that he doesn’t lose his head, wallet, combat boots, watch, remote lol you get it… I’ve even heard some say “You’re good. I guess I am just not as domesticated as you, it’s like you were trained to be like this”. Like I am a f*cking cat or something who’s given treats to keep my f*cking home afloat. Rigghhhttttt…

Regardless, I learned helllllaaaaaaa quick that you have to take care of yourself first. Making sure that everyone else is okay all of the time can definitely place you in a position to have little time for yourself (especially with children in the home). Its is like you gain this instinct that makes you go above and beyond and even into the dark pit of under eye circles when you realize its 4 am and you have to get up in an hour to do everything you didn’t finish on your to-do list yesterday. It is important to make deposits into yourself to avoid emotional bankruptcy. I once spoke with a sociologist who told me that your emotions are like a bank account. The more you give to others, you are withdrawing from said bank account. When the account is depleted, you go into the negative and the overdraft fees are reckless. So you have to have a balance. Deposit! Deposit! Deposit!

Taking care of yourself is essential. There is no way that you can be the matriarch of your home; capable to taking care of anyone else if you do not create time to take care of yourself. Let’s be clear, it does not mean hit the club and get shit faced the minute you find a sitter but even a five minute walk, going to the gym, getting your hair done, or even sitting in silence/meditation can change the way you feel about yourself. Make those deposits!

-Ash

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