It’s here! 2018, live and in full effect. My “hiatus” has ended and within that time, I have been able to do some serious introspection. I mean, not too many people knew, but I was hurting so bad last year. So much so, that if anyone even asked how I was through general conversation and the smallest bit of sincerity shined through, I could not respond without a trembling voice or feeling like I was standing in front of a crowd naked; exposed. Like they knew everything that had been going on.
I was struggling and as the year settled into Christmas and everyone pressed on with resolutions in preparation for this New Year, my mind began to slow down (only for a second) but everything, everywhere else was on the fast track to “wtf?!”. Any strand of mental strength I had left was plucked away by simple, everyday challenges that left me wide awake at night thinking how much something has got to give. That’s when it hit me – I needed a little bit of time to get back to ME, my blueprint, auto-reset: Just ASHLEY.
Now while six or seven beautiful days of chill doesn’t necessarily fix everything, that overwhelming feeling to “adjust, fix and fit” is at bay and I’m working hard on getting rid of those compulsions I have been conditioned to my entire life, completely. This year is the ultimate test of my strength to be who I truly am every waking minute. Never apologetic. Always working to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be and sharing my voice even when I can’t seem to find the right words but I know they are in here.
With all that being said, cheers to the new year. To a year full of positive choices that allow me to live in peace, happiness, immaculate physical and mental health, good fortune and love. A year where I will not hold back. A year where I follow my gut, my heart and my dreams and a year where I will stop looking at the success of others as my failures.
I hope everyone had/ and is having a safe and healthy transition into 2018! Happy New Year! New post coming soon!🧡