Living & Learning

“What is coming is better than what is gone.”

This small tidbit came in a fortune cookie I got this week with a side of orange chicken haha. I don’t even think those who believe a cookie can tell the future can even comprehend the timing of this message for me and where it got my mind wandering.

Ever feel like there was something greater out there waiting for you? Waiting for you to look up from the monotony of your every day life and realize that it is right where you needed it to be? There were no manual shifts, no rituals, no advice from anyone that could ever convince you – all you needed to do was get out of your own way?

Yup, that’s my current situation. Let anyone who does not see past their days tell you who they think I am and you will get the whole “she’s emotional and pregnant” bit, but truthfully, these feelings have been a huge part of me since I was a child. I have always felt this fear of the unknown and have had trouble making decisions because of it.

Now that I’m an adult, I feel a little stunted by all of the excuses that I have let others provide regarding MY emotions and find it even harder to get people understand that my feelings are real; although I have long given up trying to.

These days, navigating through them is so damn awkward but I always have this strange feeling that I need to just take that leap. Go out on on a limb and live a life where I can understand that not everything that I go through is terrible. Not everything will go as planned but I have to take what I can from the bad experiences in my life and appreciate the good ones as they come for as long as they last. I am learning that I always come out stronger on the other side, but that my mainframe when I make it there will forever be a strong indication of how I feel about myself and the world around me when I come out.

-Ash

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Sidenote: That orange chicken was amazing!! haha