I learned this lesson the hard way at 23 years old. Up until then, this right here, has not always been my strong suit. Don’t get me wrong, I am sincerely grateful for all things in my life (additions and subtraction alike) but because I have been through so much to get to this point, I have to say that I have found it hard navigating my 20’s and actually wanting to ask or accept the help of others. Maybe fear has instilled this in me. Fear of others wanting something in return or throwing all that they have done in my face in the past. There are even those that will claim my successes as their own. So unapologetically, I have and show pride in all things that I have accomplished on my own. I’m not the pushy, rub it in your face type, but I certainly cannot stand to be downplayed. But I digress.
I say all of this to say that it took a seriously sad turn of events to occur back to back for me to feel painful regret and also very happy moments that left me with no one to share my joy with that would even express an ounce of happiness with me to realize who I was becoming.
My fear of asking for help left me lonely, stressed and scrambling to piece things together, and even more prideful to get it done on my own. So caught up in my ways, I confused that last one with determination; only I was not doing things for me. I was doing them for others to see I didn’t need them to do it with me.
Truth is, showing humility in asking for help is most certainly NOT showing others that you are incapable. It is NOT a sign of weakness and it is NOT a for sure sign of failure. Anyone helping you and making you feel that way, should probably learn humility in helping. I am not advising you beg for things you do not need or engage in toxic relationships that expect nothing more of you than to be that person. However, I would not become too engulfed in flames and go searching to your left and right when it may be too late for anyone to help you. Just food for thought.