No new friends, no new friends, no new friends… no, no, NOPE.

Drake said it.

From some of my more recent blog post, it is not hard to see that my family and I have been going through it! I am not ashamed to admit that I was looking for an outlet; more human interaction to distract me from everyday life until it backfired on me and I found myself divulging information at some of my more vulnerable moments to people who actually enjoyed seeing me in that position. I sat around being hard on myself, trying to remember that I am the best company that I can keep and revert back to my journal but it just wasn’t the same. My energy was off and I quickly realized why. Let’s face it, great friendships are few and far between. Everywhere you go, someone is getting screwed over by someone else or they’re out here explaining how or why their circle is so small. Truth is, there is no interview process for good company. It is simply trial and error. But I took note of where I believe I fell short on my search for good company/conversation and thought I would share.

**Let me start off by saying, I truly believe that we are prone to act like those we associate ourselves with so please keep in mind that while friendships are beautiful, they can also lead to destruction.**

“Friends” to stay away from: 

The gossiper:If they can come and talk to you about others, please do not believe that you are exempt from them talking about you in your absence.

Quick tempered: Energy is real. You HAVE to believe that. If you remain around those who become easily angered by simple situations, there is a chance that behavior will rub off on you without you even realizing it.

Disloyal & Discontent: These kinds of friends are the kind that only stick around for specific reasons; also known as fair weather friends. No matter what you do, they will NEVER be satisfied with your friendship as they are not and never will truly be content with themselves as a whole. There are so many levels of destruction in this kind of friendship alone that it is key to avoid it before you find yourself wrapped up in psychological warfare with someone far more equipped to engage in higher levels of toxic behavior than your spirit could even handle.

Self indulgent: The “me, me, me” friend. I can’t even begin to tell you how many people call me daily to air out their shit and leave me not being able to get a word in edgewise. Then and only then do they suddenly have to hang up or go because something came up. Go figure. Spare yourself the vicious cycle and protect your energy. *Shoulder shrug* 

The (goddamn) fool: Ever find yourself in a situation that you know you would have never been in if you were not in the company of a certain person? Wondering what brought you there and how in entire f*$k can you dip out without looking like a “bad friend”? News flash, you are going to look like a bad friend either way so save yourself!

I have come into contact with a few of these individuals but recently with my energy being so low, I am actually beginning to believe I may be attracting them with the way they come flocking. Friends and family alike. Focusing on building wiser friendships is the goal. Quality over quantity as I don’t want to continue to find myself in situationships. People who only want a front row seat to view my pain and misfortune and disappear the minute I get to picking myself back up. I found that things like deep common interest, promoting growth spritually and emotionally, loyalty and the willingness to risk rejection and pain in the midst of creating a genuine friendship is a solid foundation set forth to avoid finding myself in this situation again.

But more importantly, don’t be afraid to be your own friend and treat yourself right; be the best company that you can keepClick here to find solitude♡. Then and only then will you understand how you do not want to be treated and will be able to control what it is you allow others to do to you. Take care of yourself and protect your energy.

-Ash