You see, sometimes my husband and I give each other these pep-talks. Sprinkle of brutal honesty here, love in the middle, sprinkle of advice and wrap it all up in a bow. Like any other gift, if you choose to use it, amazing. If not – sorry there’s no gift receipt….
I learned this lesson the hard way at 23 years old. Up until then, this right here, has not always been my strong suit. Don’t get me wrong, I am sincerely grateful for all things in my life (additions and subtraction alike) but because I have been through so much to get to this point, I have to say that I have found it hard navigating my 20’s and actually wanting to ask or accept the help of others. Maybe fear has instilled this in me. Fear of others wanting something in return or throwing all that they have done in my face in the past. There are even those that will claim my successes as their own.
For as long as I could remember, I have been a healer. The one everyone comes to when they need help, guidance or just someone to listen until they feel better. I try my hardest to be there, primarily knowing how grateful I would feel for someone to be there for me in my time of need and it makes me feel amazing. However, lately, understandably being the empath that I am, I have found that this task has brought on a lot more stress and anxiety than it has comfort from the ones I care about and knowing that they are okay.
Let me start off by saying, I am super graced by all that has been given and taken away from me. Even when I did not realize the importance of the addition and or subtraction in the beginning, I am learning that those moments of confusion lead to some of the biggest lessons I have learned in my 27 years of life…
If I want people to relate, to feel comfortable and whole-heartedly know that they are not alone in a world filled with overwhelming problems and huge life-changing experiences, why not share my own with honesty and transparency?
So a few months back I wrote a post on being the best company that you can keep (awesome post by the way you should definitely check that out here lol) Being the best company you can keep. However, lately I’ve been finding it harder to slow down with Gabe turning two, the babies coming sooner than expected and finding that QT in the middle of it all for my husband. But this week has been rough! I was feeling the need for me time and steady thinking of how important it is to have before I lose myself in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
As most are aware, I have not written anything for a while. I mean during these last couple of months, there have been plenty of ups and downs in my life but these things have set the stage for me to live more for myself and ultimately chase my dreams no matter what stands in my way. In all honesty, I felt a little awkward at first. You know, because you are so excited trying to pursue things no one would expect of you but I was excited to share with friends, family and even my husband. Little did I know, the unenthusiastic and mostly questionable responses that came from those I care about most knocked me into a world of discouragement and depression…