I love my babies so much. They are seriously everything. The twins are 7 months old and Gabe is slowly approaching 3 years old in February. Why am I just now losing my shit?!
So here I am! Two months post partum with the twins. They are amazing! My toddler is adjusting so well but I have to admit, not everyday is sunshine and rainbows. I haven’t had to deal with the postpartum monkey jumping on my back like I did with Gabriel but I think I owe that to being a lot more conscious of my thoughts and where I let them take me. You know, that defining moment where you can make the distinction between what you feel and whats real.
As most are aware, I have not written anything for a while. I mean during these last couple of months, there have been plenty of ups and downs in my life but these things have set the stage for me to live more for myself and ultimately chase my dreams no matter what stands in my way. In all honesty, I felt a little awkward at first. You know, because you are so excited trying to pursue things no one would expect of you but I was excited to share with friends, family and even my husband. Little did I know, the unenthusiastic and mostly questionable responses that came from those I care about most knocked me into a world of discouragement and depression…
Before we begin, and you read this post through and through, I would really appreciate you checking out Part 1 here: PSA: There are people out here that you don’t have to beg to love you – Part 1 I promise it’s a great read.
Things have been really pretty meh lately. I am not sure what is going on or what I’m putting into the Universe that is bringing this mess back around but….
I wrote in a previous post about my excitement of finding out that I was pregnant with my second child and soon after, the negative feelings that ensued after hearing the reactions of others, craving some “me time” from a very demanding 18 month old and a husband who was/is so excited about the news, it literally was annoying theee shit out of me. Oh! and by this time, I had gotten the news that I was having twins. I still feel compelled to defend the fact that I, in no way, shape or form, regret any of my children but crying almost everyday in my first trimester left me with no other explanation except for the fact that I was indeed depressed.